War Hammer

Two old dudes want to kill me. Oh, and one of them is my ancestor... And after centuries of practice, they're pretty good at the whole murder thing. But at least they want to kill each other just as badly. Now, I've taken down a Greek Goddess, worn a Horseman's Mask, and I ride a homicidal unicorn who hates rainbows with a passion. Some might say sending two senior citizens to a permanent retirement home should be a breeze. It ain't. Because that's not my biggest concern. One of my friends is in danger, or possibly dying, and I need to get her back before her fiancé kills me. But finding her introduces me to new worlds of pain. The biggest of these being my own past—which has been a blatant lie—and a parting gift from my parents—which might have just been the coin toss for the Apocalypse Olympics. I'm beginning to realize that none of the old Gods, Legends, or Monsters have been idle the last few centuries. They've been waiting, picking sides, and scheming schemes. Of course, maybe one of those two old dudes will punch my ticket and save me the headache. A wizard can Hope, right? Because either way, I'm about to have a very bad series of days...